Women in Horror – Shared Pages: Mia Darien

February 11, 2015 at 3:28 am (fantasy, horror, Links, writing) (, , , , , )

MiaDarienI chose this female horror writer for my spotlight because her story “Anniversary” in the Wake Up Dead anthology was both charming and chilling, featuring my favourite monster (zombies!) and a hint of humour (intentional or not.)

In addition to being a woman in horror, she is also a writer of romance, mystery, fantasy and science fiction – and an editor. Beyond writing, she is a gamer and a mom.

Find out more about Mia here: http://www.miadarien.com/

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Women in Horror – Spotlight: Kris Freestone

February 4, 2014 at 12:25 am (horror, Links, writing) (, , , , , , )

My next spotlight shines on the talented Kris Freestone, AKA Vikingessa, who wrote the poem “Dead Souls” in The Grotesquerie line-up. A native of Las Vegas with a sense of humour, she and I also shared pages in the lycanthropic charity anthology, Shifters, from Hazardous Press. As well, her published work includes zombie flash fiction in A Quick Bite of Flesh, another anthology from Hazardous Press, and she has a piece in Roms, Bombs and Zoms from Evil Girlfriend Press – pretty cool!

To top it all off, Kris has expressed the desire in becoming an evil overlord…of Antarctica. I guess it`s best not to start off by setting your sights too high – baby steps. Today Antarctica, tomorrow the world.

You can find her Amazon author page at http://www.amazon.com/Kris-Freestone/e/B00DEVZNV8 and her website at: http://vikingessa.wordpress.com/ .

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Genre for the Holidays – The End is Near

December 29, 2012 at 1:02 am (writing) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The end of 2012 approaches and it is a year I’ll be happy to see come to a close. I still am grateful for the things I care about most – healthy family, friends and a job that makes me happy, but the year was stressful, with money woes, a handful of disappointments, some health scares for my friends and their families and a sense I’ve sort of hit a plateau with my writing and any promotional attempts. I’ve got that “grinding halt, don’t know where to go from here” kind of feeling, which is leaving me uninspired and shrugging my shoulders in the face of a series of potential projects.

I honestly don’t deal well with that feeling. Whenever it seems like I’m spinning my tires and wasting energy on futile efforts I get very frustrated. I’ve achieved a lot in the last few years, but I honestly don’t know where to go from here to improve on things even more, especially in the face of limited resources. Maybe I just need a break in order to mull things over and regroup, or maybe I need to change direction. I’m not sure how to figure that out.

The one thing I do know is that I’m resilient. If there is a way past this plateau, I’ll eventually find it. The year 2013 holds promise, even if I’m unclear what that promise is, exactly.

I also refuse to lose my levity. Frustrated or not, I will maintain my sense of humour. There’s always something in life to laugh at if you look hard enough.

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Experimenting

August 17, 2012 at 11:45 pm (writing) (, , , , , )

I’ve always believed that as a writer, it is important for me to push myself and stretch my boundaries. That means writing things outside of my usual genres and my comfort zone. My latest experiment was a bit of a failure and I have to admit, try as I might, science fiction is not my thing. Nevertheless, several of my test-readers did enjoy my latest flash fiction piece that got a thumbs down from both one of my regulars and the publisher for whom I wrote it. It isn’t really something I’d consider submitting elsewhere, so I thought it would make a good blog post. Have a read, and feel free to comment…

Turbulence

“Entering orbit, Captain.”

Captain Virginia Bendall reclined slightly and glanced out the window. This was only the third time she had ever visited New-Terra V, but the same could not be said for Chief Pilot Roberta Hadley, who had been born and raised on the planet. Hadley had learned how to pilot a small ship on New-Terra V as well, training to fly transport vessels in its particularly tricky convective weather patterns.

“Must be nice to be back in your home terrain, Chief Pilot,” Bendall said.

“Certainly, Captain.” Hadley grinned. “Familiar territory is always a treat.” Captain Bendall thought she sensed a hint of a laugh in the younger woman’s response – somewhat surprising coming from someone as straight-laced as Chief Pilot Hadley. Hadley was normally about as rigid as they made them. She even made her rather stiff captain look somewhat relaxed. “Descending into atmosphere, then we’ll be proceeding to the landing base at Ferrell.”

Because of the unusual weather patterns on the planet, it was far too risky to descend directly to Ferrell in the transporter, but the city was the only location on planet that could properly accommodate a space marine freighter crew on shore leave. Bendall had promised her crew a break after their last serious skirmish with their enemies, the kulpreets ,where they had had twenty percent casualties and five percent fatalities, heavy losses for a freighter. New-Terra V was their first opportunity for that break.

“I’m just glad we finally made it, Chief Pilot. Everyone here’s wound so tight somebody’s liable to snap. We all need a chance to loosen up a little. Since this is your home turf, the helm is yours. Take us in to Ferrell.”

Bendall was expecting Hadley to head southeast on the Delta Plains and circle around to Ferrell from there. It was the customary ride, long but smooth and easy, with nothing to look at along the trip other than fields and more fields of grain. But instead, after muttering “Loosen up, eh,” with a mischievous smile, the Chief Pilot swung a hard left towards the mountainous terrain to the southwest. It definitely was not the standard route to Ferrell.

“I don’t think I know this route,” Bendall remarked, gripping her seat tightly in response to the sudden change of direction. “Is it a short cut…a scenic route?”

Hadley answered only with a wicked little laugh and more acceleration.

The landing transporter swooped and dipped around rocky outcrops and spindly mesas, a couple of close calls giving Bendall a jolt of adrenaline. Then, as they reached a point just past a stretch of mountain range, the vessel dropped very suddenly, leaving Bendall’s heart in her throat. The transporter began to jostle and shake, a response to the powerful air currents whipping past them.

“Strong winds here,” the captain commented. “What are those?” She gestured toward a collection of lens-shaped clouds.

“Lenticular clouds,” Hadley replied. “We’re heading into the wave. Hang on tight!”

Bendall was about to ask why, but did not get the chance. The transporter began to shimmy so hard she thought it was going to shake the teeth right out of her mouth. She clamped onto her vibrating chair with such force she wouldn’t have been surprised if her fingernails had left grooves in the metal there. She expected to see Hadley do the same, but instead the chief pilot appeared to be taking in the full experience of the ride, tossing her hair and making quiet sounds of surprise.

The captain held her breath and clenched her jaw together, closing her eyes until the worst was over. She could hear Hadley panting and squirming in her seat, no doubt finding the ride equally disturbing as she did. When the shuddering of their ship finally stopped, Captain Bendall opened her eyes again. She was sure now that she had never flown this trajectory to Ferrell. A ride like that she absolutely would have remembered.

“Wow,” she exclaimed, still mostly breathless, as they arrived sooner than expected at Ferrell. Her extremities were numb from the vibrations and her knuckles still white with tension. She hadn’t exactly appreciated this short cut. “I’m sure of it. I’ve definitely never come this way before.”

Chief Pilot Hadley glanced back at her with eyes gleaming and cheeks flushed, her expression filled with delight. There appeared to be something of a glow to her. She slumped back in her seat with a satisfied sigh.

“I know,” she said. “It’s the turbulence…”

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The Blurb on Other People’s Words – Wake the Witch

June 26, 2012 at 1:02 am (horror, Reviews, writing) (, , , , )

The fact that this anthology was created for all proceeds to go to charity, a good cause, already grants it high esteem in my opinion, before I had read any of the stories. What I find with charity anthologies is that they often attract some of the highest quality stories – as writers are often very generous people. There were a couple of typos in this that should have been picked up by a spellchecker, so I was surprised to see them, but aside from the odd one here and there, this book was brilliant. I really enjoyed the theme, a refreshing break from undead, serial killers and lycanthropes. I also like the female perspective the theme tends to cast upon the stories, even the ones from male contributors. Here’s my overview of the stories (other than my own):

Timmy and Ginny – TW Brown – Despite the modern setting, it had a fairytale motif to it, and I was expecting a version of Hansel and Gretel from the outset, with zombies and witches. It was exactly that, with the flavour of a children’s cautionary tale, the trappings of today’s society, such as a CD player, and the added bonus of the undead. Of course, since the story is about a witch who wants to eat people, the zombies are hardly out of place.

Mercy Hathaway is a Witch – Ken Goldman – This had a Nathaniel Hawthorne feel to it with a strong dose of the sensual followed by a frightening and chilling ending. I got a real kick out of this one, being a Hawthorne fan myself.

Your Next Appointment – Walter Campbell – The tale of an urban witch and Eric Russo, who seeks out her services. This story was very moving and I honestly felt sorry for poor Eric by the end.

Whether Girl –Kristi Peterson Schoonover – This story was a little surreal, but in a good way, with both fanciful and jarring imagery. Equivalent to a “don’t mess with Mother Nature” cautionary tale with a modern setting.

Homicidal Rage – DA Chaney – Another modern witch tale, set on the water. This fun but eerie story had some mystery to it, as an added bonus.

360 Degrees – Geoffrey Crescent – This current day spin on a witch story involves the internet antics of drunken students. It’s a comical plot where they discover catching a witch can be much easier than getting rid of her.

A Wise Woman’s Revenge – CW LaSart – A rather brutal tale of the more traditional sort, from the days of witch persecutions. This had all of the elements I look for in a good horror story: harsh, edgy and moving, providing flawed and believable characters with whom you can really connect. This was my favourite in the anthology – it actually made me cry.

Trevor Talks – Michael Frissore – OMG, this one was hilarious from the get-go. Rude, crude and amusing with a bizarre ending.

Born Again – Marcus Dicomites – Interesting premise, witch as revenant – only it turns out, there’s much more to it than that. Definitely one of the darker tales in the anthology, lots of frightening imagery.

Generational Curse – Bennie Newsome – At first I wondered if my eyes deceived me – not one, but two Hansel and Gretel-themed stories in this anthology. But they are two very different stories. This one had not been modernized, and despite being horror, it still had an element of whimsy.

Of Cucumber and Curses – Elizabeth Butler – The story begins with some cutesy repartee between witch and familiar. Rife with dark humour, as the title would suggest. Save this one for when you’re in a goofy mood.

The Witching-Well Hag – Adam Millard – I’m a definite Adam Millard fan, so this one was a treat. This is an enchanting story, one with colour, mystique and romance. Victoria and the witch were great and the twist at the end was fabulous.

The Conduit – David Landrum –This was a very original tale, with heavy doses of both mob and popular culture. It is not a story for light reading, intricately detailed with a complex backdrop to the plot.

The Strange Case of Melinda P. Zinnecker – Mark Jones – This was quirky, but entertaining , a story presented as a case files (with references to CSI).

While I did enjoy some of the stories more than others, I can honestly say I didn’t feel that any of these were duds. This was a five star read for me and one I’d recommend.

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The Blurb on Other People’s Words – Ben Sobieck

January 10, 2012 at 1:57 am (Reviews, writing) (, , , , )

Detective stories are not tales from a genre I tend to read, but Maynard is also not the usual hard-boiled private dick. This series of digital shorts is uproariously amusing and the lead character is irreverent and unapologetic. Add in elements of political satire and I found these stories well worth the read, even if they weren’t my typical selection:

Maynard Soloman Solves The War On Drugs – by Benjamin Sobieck

 

With a chip on his shoulder and more than his share of attitude, the protagonist presents himself as a force to be reckoned with and immediately captured my interest. He jumps into the serious issue of the war on drugs with gusto, attacking things head on from his Winnebago. The term “character” definitely applies to Maynard Soloman, in a detective tale that offers lots of satirical humour and plenty of “street” ambiance.

 

Maynard Soloman Proves Santa Claus is Real! – by Benjamin Sobieck

 

Another detective tale with a satirical twist, this one a Christmas edition where our obstinate and life-weary protagonist is at risk of losing his ‘bago, and finds himself facing down numerous obstacles in order to do so. It’s always amusing to watch a jaded old fellow confronting the Christmas spirit head-on (which is why Ebenezer was so popular), because you know how the chips will fall. I love the humour in this and how Maynard discovers the magic of Christmas is not all whimsy.

 

Maynard Soloman Fixes Social Security and Eats A Pony! – by Benjamin Sobieck

This short offers Maynard Soloman at his best…or perhaps you might call it his worst. Going about his usual business, as vulgar and life-weary as ever, he finds himself in the middle of a rather insane robbery. Pursuing the criminal digs our hero into a deeper hole, with Sobieck’s customary hilarity. If you like quirky characters and a good laugh to your detective stories, you’ll enjoy this digital short story offered by Trestle Press.

 


Maynard Soloman and the Job Nabbin’ Illegal Immigrants – by Benjamin Sobieck

My final review for this series had me laughing at all of Maynard Soloman’s latest antics. This time he’s working an actual job, all about a lost job (kind of ironic.) With his usual crusty approach, he delves into the task of investigating a topic at the political forefront. Maynard’s unabashed ways and sour disposition make for a very entertaining tale. This was a side-splitting digital short – another winner from Sobieck and Trestle Press.

 

 

 

 

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The Blurb on Other People’s Words – Critters Galore

December 19, 2011 at 11:34 pm (horror, Reviews, writing) (, , , , , , , , , , )

With this anthology, May December Publications offers a variety of monster tales that spans the spectrum of action, humour and horror, along with striking illustrations for each selection. It is interesting to see how many of the stories in the anthology involve themes of revenge and/or protective loved ones. I found something entertaining in each of the stories, even the ones that weren’t my favourites. It’s great to see an MDP anthology showcasing so many talented writers.

A Golem in Ozone Park – I think this story really captured the old time movie feel. Silvestri has a very visual approach to his tale. You can easily picture a wide-eyed Abby standing in the rain with an air of urgency, or the golem looming over his creator as he got to his feet. I could almost imagine the sound of bad special effect thunder and cheesy music. Probably one of the most culturally colourful stories I’ve ever read in a horror anthology.

A Zinger Must Die – I was a bit spoilt by this one, being a Haligonian myself, I could identify with the setting very easily. That being said, I felt as though I had stepped into the Twilight Zone with the introduction of cartoon characters, and I tend to “zone out” with any discussion of US politics, no reflection of Mr. Pelmuter’s tale-telling skills. There was an odd contrast of the complex language used to the nature of the tale – I would have expected a more simplistic language as a match with anything “toony”. There was also an interesting irony in how the Newfoundlanders, who can be sometimes larger-than-life, came across as more cartoony than the creatures themselves.

The Pit – This is an action-packed tale with a battlefield feel to it, a hardened hunter vs a man with a bestial nature. It was a fun story.

The Spine Tingling Tale of the Crystal Golem – I wasn’t sure how to take this story. It went from the classic campy intro, a la old cliff-hanger serials, to some cheesy dialogue (“honeybunches” and “love muffin”) with more modern camp, and all the characters having rock names, but I gathered that was all intentional for a spoof effect. It was amusing, but not really my type of horror humour.

Just the Two of Us – I loved the imagery in this (seeing ovals like leeches and the way the sunshine is described while Brandon is meeting with his mom – great stuff) as well as the fluid writing style.

Fish Boy – This story presents a monstrous case of people-watching that gets interesting once the discordant family dynamics are unleashed. Then the people-watching turns to something more shocking. I liked this because it was a horror tale with greater dimension.

And the Dark Growls Back – I loved this story and its real-life monster. It was a veritable thrill-ride, with plenty of surprises. It sucked me in and didn’t let go, because in addition to the unusual beginning, action and excitement, there was so much detail (including some serious gore). The ending was fitting as well. This was my favourite story in the anthology.

The Visitor – Another great read. It has a nice build up and good pacing. The characters are very realistic; one of the main ones is a sceptical curmudgeon and the other a bit blasé, although she proves caring in the long run.

Frightening Cliches – This was the type of tongue-in-cheek dark humour I expect to find in a horror anthology. The story was an entertaining, high-spirited romp, with puns and jibes at the stereotypical middle-aged couple. There were a couple of MDP Easter eggs thrown in there for good measure.

Dead Planet – This was a bit too “Flash Gordon” meets “Alien” for my tastes, but it did add variety to the anthology and the writing was technically good. There was plenty of action and some very scary moments. The Sci-Fi fan would likely enjoy this one.

Hayride – A bestial killer is terrorizing a part of Michigan and the residents there are attempting to fight the fear, participating in Halloween events as they always have. A smooth read with a wild twist.

Fish out of Water – This one had a steampunk/Jules Verne feel to it, with a hint of Lovecraft – a more intellectual horror. Once again, not my preferred version of the genre (although I did like the touch of Lovecraft), but it also added variety to the anthology and was certainly technically well-written.

From Rebirth to Reburial – This was interesting and intriguing, sort of “noir”, but it seemed more like an intro to a novel than just a short. There was a lot going on, the characters were introduced but clearly had much more to them and I wanted more background than could conceivably fit in a short.

North – The intro was a little heavy and metaphor-laden for me, but once I got past that, I really liked this story. Very original – a different spin on the usual bigfoot/yeti story.

Revenge of the Zombie Pussy Eaters – To say this story was a little blue would be an understatement. It definitely had shock factor. It had laughable moments but it was a vulgar humour. I think I’d have to be in the right mood or have a couple of drinks in me to really enjoy this sort of levity, and I could easily see some people finding this story offensive (although I have thicker skin than that.).

Keeping It Together – This story made me smile right away with the description of someone as a “friendly baguette” and by the second page into it I was laughing out loud. I’m a sucker for good zombie humour and, to me, this was by far the funniest story in the anthology.

I think I agree with some of the other reviewers that this was the best MDP anthology yet. They assembled a great collection of quality stories with quite a menagerie of beasties.

 

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The Blurb on Other People’s Words – The NaNo Hiatus Continues

November 15, 2011 at 1:23 am (fantasy, Links, Reviews, writing) (, , , , , , , )

Today the charming and witty JT Kalnay has agreed to provide me with another guest review for my blog. Imagine my joy and surprise when he volunteered to review one of my digital shorts, released by Trestle Press. I now once again turn my blog over to JT, and let him have his say on this lovely Monday…

It’s All About The Tourists by Chantal Boudreau

Chantal Boudreau provides a whimsical behind-the-scenes look at two entertainers in her short story, It’s All About The Tourists. But these entertainers aren’t performing at your local Amusement Park or roadside Enormous Ball-of-String. These entertainers are Flash the Unicorn and Kirkondolius the Dragon! They are performing for tourists atop a rocky crag, where they act out a dragon versus unicorn melodrama. I’d never thought about what goes through the minds of performers at an Amusement Park, let alone through the minds of a performing unicorn or dragon. So it was really very enlightening to learn that mythical creature performers have many of the same concerns as regular people. Who knew? For example, Flash the Unicorn is worried about his middle-aged belly and thinning mane while Kirkondolius the Dragon is, if not worried, at least cognizant of the fact that his romantic interludes are occurring with less frequency. I never realized it would be so easy to identify with the issues of a unicorn and a dragon!

Ms. Boudreau illustrates a talent both for internal dialogue (e.g., Flash the Unicorn wondering how he is going to provide for another mouth to feed) and witty repartee between characters (e.g., Flash and “Kirk” busting each other’s chops waiting for tourists). This gift for dialogue intrigues me and got me wondering about her longer works. As a writer, that dialogue also got me thinking about the best way to keep a story moving. While there is some description of the surroundings and some description of the characters, it is the dialogue that really keeps this short story moving. We learn things about the characters through their conversations and actions, rather than through a description.

This is pretty much true about our human lives isn’t it? How do we truly learn about other people? By meeting them, talking to them, and seeing how they behave in different situations. Descriptions of other people are just that, descriptions. During the seemingly interminable run-up to the 2012 elections we have already been overwhelmed with descriptions of people. As it turns out, almost all of these descriptions are worthless. Same thing with so much of our social media, especially online dating. Has anyone yet met a six foot tall man on line that didn’t turn out to be about five foot ten? And has anyone yet met an “athletic” man online whose sports didn’t turn out to be watching football, drinking beer, and, like Flash, watching his mid-section expand? No, third party descriptions don’t get it done in real life, and they don’t get it done in literature.

It is meeting the characters, both real and whimsical, hearing their words and viewing their actions, in both unguarded downtime and in stressful situations, that provide the fabric from which the quilt of a relationship can be pieced together. I wonder what happens next to Flash and Kirk? Do they get to keep their jobs after the unfortunate tourist incident at the end? Does Kirk find romance? Does Flash find other work in his chosen field as a virgin-detector? If Kirk finds romance will there be any virgins left for Flash to detect? Since we are so quickly drawn in by their seemingly completely natural dialogue, after just a few pages we want to know about these characters. Well done Ms. Boudreau, and I look forward to one of your longer works.

JT Kalnay

Author of The Topsail Accord, Mina’s Eyes, The Pattern, and The Keeper

www.jtkalnay.com

 

– JT, you keep me in stitches, and thanks again for your help during NaNoWriMo.

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The Blurb on Other People’s Words – NaNoWriMo Hiatus

November 8, 2011 at 12:59 am (horror, Links, Reviews, writing) (, , , , , , , )

I’m still on my NaNoWriMo hiatus (working my way through Chapter 5 of my zombie novel set in Ancient Thrace, Sleep Escapes Us). So I’m handing the reins over to a willing volunteer, a fellow zombie connoisseur (well, now – thanks to my horrible influence, bwahahaha!), John “JT” Kalnay.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance by Jane Austen & Seth Grahame-Smith

My first step in preparing this guest post was to read old posts on Chantal’s blog. I discovered that there was a lot of material concerning zombies. I’ve only written one ghost story, so I’m not very familiar with zombies, but I’ve written several romance novels and I am therefore much more familiar with Jane Austen. Surprisingly, some of my heroine’s works have been adapted by those more familiar with zombies. Apparently Miss Austen actually invited this adaptation because, in a letter to her sister, soon after the publication of Pride and Prejudice she wrote: “upon the whole… I am well satisfied enough. The work is rather too light, and bright, and sparkling; it wants [i.e. needs] shade.” The reference to “shade” must certainly be a reference to creatures from another realm…

Therefore, given license by Miss Austen, I chose to further my knowledge of both zombies and this style of adaptation by reading Pride and Prejudice alongside Pride & Prejudice & Zombies. There were a few profoundly interesting results…

Jane Austen wrote “it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” The adapting author wrote “it is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.” How exactly is one to reconcile these two uncommonly similar pronouncements? The first attempt to parse the statements sees a first substitution of ‘brains’ for ‘good fortune’ followed by a second substitution of ‘more brains’ for ‘a wife.”

Well, there’s certainly something to be examined there! The first substitution (brains/good fortune) is easy to follow and quite possibly commutative. It is good fortune to have brains and, in some cases, brains can lead to good fortune. Also, being in possession of brains can be interpreted as being in possession of a fortune. But the second substitution (wife/more brains) may be troublesome, and quite possibly not as commutative. For example, does a single man gain more brains by acquiring a wife? This supposes that a single man has some brains to begin with… Equally troubling, does a wife who acquires a single man exhibit any brainpower at all? To make the substitutions more similar, could the adapting author have written that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of something that would get half his brains when the inevitable zombie divorce happened? Or should the adapting author have been more optimistic and written that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of that one elusive other creature that could make him whole? Perhaps his “lost soul” mate? Hmmmmm….

Jane Austen also wrote “Mr. Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by his fine, tall person, handsome features, noble mien, and the report which was in general circulation within five minutes after his entrance of his having ten thousand a year.” The more recent author wrote that “Mr. Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by his fine, tall person, handsome features, noble mien – and the report which was in general circulation within five minutes after his entrance, of his having slaughtered more than a thousand unmentionable since the fall of Cambridge.” In these two statements slaughtering one thousand zombies is substituted for ten thousand a year. Having ten thousand a year in 1813 made someone spectacularly wealthy. How has the more recent author fared in this substitution? Has he undersold or oversold? What would a person who had actually slaughtered one thousand zombies be worth in today’s market? More than LeBron James? More than James Patterson? More than Warren Buffet? Would someone who had slaughtered a thousand zombies be equivalently wealthy to Mr. Darcy? Would he have an estate like Pemberly? LeBron James has a nice crib in Akron, and one in South Beach. But neither rivals Pemberly. I’ve seen pictures of Warren Buffet’s estates, but they do not compare to Chatsfield House. From all appearances, Mr. Darcy was likely one of the hundred wealthiest men in all of England, which, in 1813 was arguably the richest country in the world. So, would someone who had slaughtered a thousand zombies be one of the hundred richest people in the richest country in the world today? I don’t know.

Anyway, having dipped my toe in the murky waters of zombies, perhaps next week’s guest post will examine some of the writings of your regularly scheduled blogger.

-JT Kalnay, Author of The Topsail Accord, Mina’s Eyes, The Pattern, The Trade, and the Pattern.

www.jtkalnay.com

 

Okay, so while I have managed to stop laughing long enough to pick my side-split body up off of the floor, I had better take the time to thank my very humorous guest blogger. Thanks, JT, for a great review and I’m looking forward to your next guest post!

 


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