A Current Endeavor – Glum, Torn and Grateful

July 12, 2013 at 1:11 am (writing) (, , , , , , , )

I made it to Chapter 12 – a turning point in many of my novels and one that brings with it a bit of a hump to overcome. I usually ride on feedback here to get me through, and while I do have enough from other things to keep my psychic vampire side from starving (thank you, Brad), it’s not the steady flow I’ve relied upon in the past. Add to it a heavier than normal workload at my day job, some unbearable hot days (record-breaking), another “maybe” I was hopeful could turn into a “yes” but ended up a “no,” and a summer cold (when I hardly ever get sick) – and I’m feeling glum.

I’m also feeling torn. I read the book “Ender’s Game” long ago and it rated up there amongst my favourites. I would love to go see the movie when it comes out, but I can’t in good conscience. As long as there is the likelihood that some of the profit from that movie will be going to support anti-gay marriage organizations or any groups spreading hatred and intolerance, I won’t be spending my money to see it. It’s sad, but that’s the way things go sometimes. I stand by my gay and lesbian friends and would never knowingly do anything to support someone who would see their rights suppressed. Love is love and family is family. Nobody should be denied that.

Despite being glum and torn, I’m still feeling very lucky. This cold may be annoying, but it’s just a cold and it’s already starting to go away. Otherwise I’m healthy. I may be struggling without feedback and getting a lot of rejections lately, but I’m still writing and submitting and I have had my work published in almost two dozen anthologies along with my several novels – much more than the “absolutely nothing” I had published at this point three years ago. The weather may be jumping from extremes of ridiculously hot to utter downpours, but my garden is growing really well. And I have a family I adore. I’m especially aware of that because of tragedy that has struck two other employees at the department where I work, one losing a young son and another, a husband. It makes me want to hang on tight to my own loved ones and make sure they know how much I care about them.

Glum or not, torn or not, I’m not about to lose that sense of gratitude. As long as there are things to be happy about, I’ll find a way to get around the not-so-happy stuff.

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